Domestic Violence

What Is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.

Domestic violence does not discriminate. Anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender can be a victim – or perpetrator – of domestic violence. It can happen to people who are married, living together or who are dating. It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

Domestic violence includes behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. It includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of domestic violence/abuse can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship.

Here at The Hotline, we use the Power & Control Wheel* to describe most accurately what occurs in an abusive relationship.

Think of the wheel as a diagram of the tactics an abusive partner uses to keep their victim in the relationship. While the inside of the wheel is comprised of subtle, continual behaviors, the outer ring represents physical, visible violence. These are the abusive acts that are more overt and forceful, and often the intense acts that reinforce the regular use of other more subtle methods of abuse.

*Although this Power & Control Wheel uses she/her pronouns for the victim and assumes a male perpetrator, abuse can happen to people of any gender in any type of relationship.

Copyright by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
202 East Superior Street, Duluth, MN, 55802
218-722-2781

Source:  https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

Warning Signs of Domestic Violence

It’s not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive.

In fact, many abusive partners may seem absolutely perfect in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.

Domestic violence doesn’t look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. But one thing most abusive relationships have in common is that the abusive partner does many different kinds of things to have more power and control over their partner.

Some of the signs of an abusive relationship include a partner who:

• Tells you that you can never do anything right
  Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away
• Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members
  Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs
• Controls every penny spent in the household
  Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses
• Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
  Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
• Prevents you from making your own decisions
• Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children
• Prevents you from working or attending school
• Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
• Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons
• Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
• Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol.

A Deadly Cycle

The four stages of abuse can happen over and over— until you stop them

There's a certain script domestic violence follows and survivors know it well. Most advocates will attest that abusers are not impulsive or out of control, but rather rigidly in control. They carefully plan and calculate their abuse, be it subtle forms of control or threatening acts of violence.

As such, survivors fall into a script of their own. They begin repeating the lines over and over to themselves, and to friends and family, until the familiar phrases begin to sound like a broken record.

It’ll never happen again.
He says he’s really sorry.
It’s my fault I made him angry—I should be a better partner.
He’s just stressed out right now.
He’s only controlling because he loves me.

In some circles, this is referred to as the Cycle of Abuse, or Cycle of Violence, a four-stage pattern that abusive behavior can take sometimes hundreds of times over. An abuser might cycle through these four stages in anywhere from a few hours to a year or more.

Source: https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/a-deadly-cycle

Domestic Violence Resource List

VINELink Offender Lookup is available to anyone.  If you are a victim of any kind. You may sign up to be alerted when the suspect in you case has a change in custody.  To do so, please visit VINE to sign up. 

Domestic Violence / Sexual Assault - Shelter, Outreach and Victim Assistance:

Harbor House
316-263-6000

StepStone
316-265-1611

Wichita Family Crisis Center
316-263-2313

Crisis Line
316-267-7233 or 316-267-SAFE

Wichita Area Sexual Assault Center
316-263-0185

Crisis Line
316-263-3002

Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
785-232-9784

Attorney General's Victim Services  
800-828-9745

Other Resources:

Child Support Services
888-757-2445

Comcare Crisis
316-660-7500

Kansas Crime Victims Compensation
120 SW 10^th Ave, 2^nd Floor,
Topeka, KS 66612
785-296-2359

Kansas Legal Service
316-265-9681

Offender Registration Unit
316-660-3939

Protection from Abuse / Stalking Office
316-660-5290

United Way Info Line
211

Local Law Enforcement and Court Offices:

Maize Police Investigations
316-425-3356

Maize Municipal Court
316-722-8736

Sedgwick County District Attorney’s Office
525 N. Main, Wichita KS 67203
316-660-3600

DA’s Domestic Violence Coordinator
316-660-3637

KDOC Office of Victim Services
866-404-6732

Local Hospitals:

Wesley Medical Center
550 N Hillside – 316-962-2000
Wesley West ER & Diagnostic Center
8714 W 13th St N – 316-962-9900

Ascension Via Christi St. Francis
929 N St. Francis – 316-268-5000

Ascension Via Christi St. Joseph
3600 E Harry St – 316-268-5000

Ascension Via Christi St. Teresa
14800 St. Teresa St. – 796-7000

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